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In Control: No More Snapping at Your Family, Sulking at Work, Steaming in the Grocery Line, Seething in Meetings, Stuffing Your Frustration


 
  In Control: No More Snapping at Your Family, Sulking at Work, Steaming in the Grocery Line, Seething in Meetings, Stuffing Your Frustration     
Author: Redford Williams, Virginia Williams
Publisher: Rodale Books
for price information click on cover
Release Date: 06 February, 2007

 

In Control

I really found this book to be useful. I leave it at work for all who feel like they need to try something new to alleviate the anger that can sometimes feel overwhelming.

Rating:


Emotional Control Within Eight Weeks

This book promises a lot: in effect that if you follow the clearly laid plans, self-control and serenity can be yours within eight weeks. The authors say that greater self-control will improve not just emotional but physical health. Dr Redford Williams was one of the people who first found an apparent link between Type A personality and the development of coronary artery disease, so it is not surprising that the authors focus on this link. More recent research has not been so clear that there is a connection between Type A personality and heart disease, and much interest has shifted toward the "Type D" personality, which refers to the tendency to experience negative emotions and to inhibit the expression of these negative emotions in social interactions. Stress and hostility do seem to be involved in the development of coronary artery disease, and perhaps also other heart and health problems, by lessening our normal heart rate variability.

Leaving aside those technical quibbles, I don't think anyone could deny that gaining greater control of our emotional life is a good thing. Drawing on the burgeoning science of positive psychology, the book begins with self-assessment quiz and ends with advice on increasing your level of optimism.

The main strategies that the authors recommend are certainly sound:
1. Recognize your emotions
2. Weigh the evidence of situations, so that you think before you act
3. Gaining control of your reactions
4. How to resolve problems and implement solutions
5. Assert yourself and learn to say no
6. Improve communication
7. Empathize with others
8. Learn to "look up, " i.e. how to be happy and optimistic

Each chapter is peppered with interesting and appropriate cases.

Most of the advice is intuitive. My only concern with the book, and why I'm giving four stars, is that there is almost too much information in it. I say that with the greatest sympathy: my agent and editor constantly makes the same charge against me! It seemed to me as if the book contained just about every piece of psychological advice that I've ever seen. Including a few techniques that have been shown not to work. The one that jumped out at me was the advice to snap a rubber band against the wrist. Something that was popular many years ago, before empirical research showed that such interruption strategies are not very effective. I have known a few people use the technique with such vigor that they've made their wrists black and blue!

There is nothing about any of the other techniques like thought field therapy that can often be helpful with emotional problems like anger, but since there is little published data on the "tapping therapies," that is not a criticism of the book.

With those couple of caveats I still recommend the book as a compendium of psychological approaches to managing anger. If anger is a problem for you or for those around you, this book is a good place to start.

Rating:


Finding the "Off" Switch

As someone who teaches and coaches around anger management issues, I was delighted to read the Williams' simple, straightforward plan for getting anger under control. Following a clear explanation of the factors that create people out of control, this book details a plan for regaining and maintaining emotional control. The plan is easy to follow. None of the steps are so threatening that they can't be attempted on your own.
It's not so hard helping people learn a STOP mechanism; it's harder to guide them through the steps that lead to and maintain balance and appropriate reactions. This book does just that and I plan to use it and recommend it often.

Rating:


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