The book I wish I had 20 years ago

I came up against conflicts and obstacles in my life as a 20-something woman--smart, good-looking, well educated, successful. I had no idea what kept hitting me. There were the reasons everybody cites, but there was something deeper that was insoluble, it seemed to me. I couldn't figure out why I was the only woman I knew who was stopped in her tracks, overwhelmed by the horror of people's expectations and everyone's acceptance of the fact that these expectations all contradicted each other. It was even worse in my 30s. Late 30s, I gave up.

Yup, this is it. This sidesteps all the quick-fix, superficial explanations about how to feel better and be more successful at X, Y, Z as a "modern woman". Most people who write those books have no idea what that is, even though they think they do. This book is funny, smart, honest, well-researched. It sidesteps the typical cliches and categories used by 99% of all who write about women's lives. For that alone, she should get a medal.

A lot of money, time, effort, and grief wasted over the decades in trying to come to the very conclusions Martha Beck describes, but at least that means I know the real thing when I see it. I'm so grateful I came across it. When you've identified the real problem, the solutions you come up with have traction. They work. What a gift, to be pointed in the right direction.

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A woman's working manual

Apparently this book did not have the success that Martha Beck's subsequent books have had - perhaps the reason why it is out of print. I have read most of her books, but this one, in my view, surpasses them all; I regard it as a superlative working manual. I agree with previous reviewers that Beck is both scholarly and humorous, but I think the book's greatest strength is the way the author brings together so many women's stories - the rites of passage that we all need to know about for our own sanity. I go to this book not only for validation, but also for much needed refuelling. Beck's analogy of the chrysalis (although other authors have used it) is especially lucid, and is sufficiently empowering on its own. If, as a woman, you are on a personal "vision quest" this book is a great map. Find a second hand copy, and never let it go.



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Awesome Beck!

I've read her most recent works and have immensely enjoyed the bright and kind wit of Martha Beck. This book is scholarly, hard-hitting and wise; I found myself nodding deeply more than once with a deep "Aha!" of recognition. She is nothing short of wonderful and her books are excellent!

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