Special Interests?

I would have to ask why someone is so adamant that phychotherapy is the key; when I know many people who spent
many $$ could attest that it is useless.

Somehow I have a hard time thinking that going to 'even an atheist' phychotherapist could be a good idea; let's go get the spiritual man healed by someone who denies the Master Healer - good idea??

Or let's spend 100's of hours and thousands of $$ dissecting the old nature when were simply supposed to crucify it through faith.

Maybe the most benefit generally belongs to the phychotherapists coffer.




Rating:


Courageous in the Christian cultural contex, but falls short

I commend Patrick Means for what he is attempting to do. And, in fact, he does make a good presentation of the various challenges men face in society today, and, for the most part, have faced throughout history. It's a good summary and that alone, for many, will be worth the time and effort to read it, i.e., it's a good first step towards awareness if that's where you are.

Where Means really hits his stride is in the chapter "Living the Secret Life," in which he outlines the pain, misery and isolation of sin, and the elaborate ways we cover for ourselves, physically, socially and psychologically, and how cover-up leads to even more damage. Unfortunately, it is a comparatively short chapter and is not backed up with much detail. I wish this chapter went on for much longer (perhaps even an entire book), because I've been there, and I get great comfort from hearing others' experiences and learning how they made it out of the pit. (For those interested see: St. Augustine's Confessions and Merton's The Seven Story Mountain)

The real reason for the low rating, however, is that right when I think Means is going to step up to the plate and be brave (in the context of Christian culture) in his recommendations for recovery, he completely wimps out. What do I mean by this? He backs off from saying MANY MEN, SPECIFICALLY INCLUDING CHRISTIAN MEN, WOULD BENEFIT GREATLY FROM PSYCHOTHERAPY, and trudges right back to emphasizing the modification of external behaviors and praying better and harder! (Ok, I'm oversimplifying, but that's essentially what he says.) He avoids directly addressing therapy, which may seem a little thing, but it is not. And my guess is, the author knows it!

What was so disappointing was that throughout the book the author makes statements such as, "Compartmentalization is one of the most sophisticated mechanisms our mind uses to accomplish self-deception," "because it doesn't deal with the whole person, one-dimensional recovery only drives the pain underground," and, the most hopeful, "Christians have done a fair job of applying God's truth to our external behavior...but we have done a much poorer job in applying the truth to the vast interior of our hearts and minds: our thought life and self-talk, our motivations, our damaged emotions."

Then, in one casual and almost serendipitous reference, he says, "God has used the headlamp of many Christian therapists and authors to help me see the pattern of pain..." And that's it, that's basically all he says about therapy. He never even recommends seeing one if you need to. Why does Means pull back? The only answer I can come up with is that outward pressure of some sort has compelled him not to put that in there, when, in fact, therapy--even by an atheist--can unlock things inside of you that open your heart to God and to Jesus. It happened to me! And it just irks me to no end to see a book like this where all logic says that therapy should be part of the solution, but the author does not have the courage to say it. I would love to hear the author's explanation for why he did that....

Rating:


A Christian Men's book with all the guts!

Patrick Means sees the male heart with truth, grace, and passion. Means speaks from experience about work, women, sex, and an authentic "Romans Chapter 7" relationship with God. This book is not a "mountain top" experience. However, if you have experience with "Men's work," you will be pleasantly surprised. He draws in the man that goes to church and has chosen to be disconnected from feelings, relationships, and other men. He also addresses those of us who have gone outside the church for truth and grace(Warrior Weekends, Mens groups, and other initiatory experiences).If you want to take a Christ centered journey with your shadow, read Means.

Rating: