Vindicating!!!

Female orgasm has always been a topic that has interested me. Probably because it was only by accident that at age 20 (I'm now 35 - almost 36), I stumbled upon some information on the role of the clitoris in female orgasm. Up until that point, I didn't even know what a clitoris was - and I'm female!! Why was it not mentioned in sex education courses? Why had my parents never told me about it when they told me about sex? Why did none of my girlfriends know about it?

I couldn't believe that I was so in the dark about my own sexuality. Even though the information was "out there," in many ways it wasn't. It seems that what I, and everyone I knew, thought was that women had orgasms the same way men did: through sexual intercourse (no hands involved).

Needless to say, my discovery of the clitoris led to further reading and my first orgasm! It is difficult to describe HOW HAPPY I felt about it. Not only did I now know that there was nothing wrong with me (I could have orgasms), but I felt more complete as a person because I was now able to experience something (quite pleasurable) that everyone else seemed to be experiencing except for me.

After that, I never had trouble being orgasmic with a partner. I think because I have always, almost instinctually, applied pressure to that area during intercourse (method suggested in this book). Doing so seemed quite natural; it made me have an orgasm very quickly.

But, what gets me is that many of my female friends, now in their mid thirties like myself, continue to have sex without orgasms. Some tell me that they don't care about orgasms that much. Others that they have NEVER had one and would never learn how to have one on their own, while others simply could not tell their partners what they need, or "even worse," touch themselves in front of their partner during sex; so many of them go without and sometimes even fake it.

But, what many women fail to realize is that it is THEIR OWN ATTITUDE ABOUT SEX that is preventing them from having orgasms. In order to be orgasmic you've got to come to terms with your body: you need to learn what you've got down there and how it works on your own. Can you imagine being with a guy who had no idea about his own sexual anatomy, what to do with it or how to have an orgasm? You also have to be willing to play a little more active role in sex: get in positions where you can move your hips and easily reach your clitoris (if he likes the missionary position, you can always switch once you've had `your' orgasm).

I say this book is vindicating because the author, and many of the people she quotes feel exactly like I do. That is, they agree that it is more satisfying for both parties involved if the woman has an orgasm easily and quickly "every time." This is reassuring for me because, many other women I know and talk to about sex seem to prefer to have an orgasm once in a blue moon in order to uphold the myth that the "right man" will use his "superior sexual skill," to knock their socks off without their having to take any initiative. It might be a nice fantasy, one that society clearly perpetuates, but in the meantime they're going to have a lot of "not so great" sex. No wonder a majority women say they would rather go out to dinner than have sex!

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Great Book

This book is a must have for every women. My only regret was that I didn't find it 20 years ago.

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An Unusual Approach to a Common Problem

I have always had to have oral sex in order to have an orgasm, until my partner convinced me to try the formula in this book. This book takes the unusual point of view that it's not my partner's responsibility. I resented this idea at first, but the author made her point. I really liked this book for the very reason that it offers a simple solution to a common problem. The whole point of the book is that women are responsible for their own orgasms and that it is not necessary to rely on a man to "give" us one. This is a new approach. The ability to reach a "quick" orgasm if you're a woman is rarely addressed in those technical books which require long hours trying to learn a technique that is too complicated. That's why "Five Minutes to Orgasm" is unique -- its simple, straightforward and doesn't require any outside mechanism (like a vibrator).

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