a heap of rubbish with a diamond at its core

This book is an insult to one's intelligence. The subject matter is incredibly important and the data conveyed by the book is impeccable and relevant. But the mode of delivery is atrocious. It is a book full of cliches. One would think that the sexual abuse of males would drive us to the outer limits of intelligence and imagination. This book utterly fails in that drive. Surely better books exist that deal with this dread topic?

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Powerful, powerful, powerful...

...for any man who has ever been abused, or anyone who loves such a man, this book is a must. It progressively defines abuse, the abused's recognition of it, how as an adult it defines him and his relationships with others, and how he deals with his recovery. The real-life testimonies included in the book put all of the matter-of-fact information into personal perspective.

Two themes which are reinforced throughout are that recovery is a process, not an event, and requires a lot of work; and, that one can ultimately redirect their emotional energy away from hate, anger and doubt to more productive uses, which will aid and reinforce the healing process.

The book is not very long and is an interesting read from the start. I would highly recommend it to all counselors.

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Abused Boys : The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse

This book is a welcome addition to our sparse literature about the sexual abuse of boys. It is well organized, easy to read, and the author is both knowledgeable and sympathetic. He emphasizes that there is no such thing as a "willing" victim and refuses to indulge in victim-blaming, as so often happens to male survivors

However, I strongly discourage survivors from using this book, at least early in their recovery process. The author acknowledges the need for recovery groups to be screened to avoid the inclusion of inappropriate persons in a group, yet failed to do so for his readers and included a story by a survivor/perpetrator. This story is told in the typical detached way of a survivor, and although a young perpetrator, the crimes he commits are among the most heinous in the book. As a female survivor myself, the story resulted in a period of dissociation - something that has not happened to me in 10 years.

Although many perpetrators were themselves victims at one time, these are two very different patient populations and for the sake of fragile survivors the two should not be mixed. I am surprised at the author's lapse in judgment.

TV

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